Tuesday, June 08, 2010


For various reasons I've been quite interested in happiness lately. I've been reading books, articles, talks and scriptures related to joy and happiness. It's been fun.

One rule of happiness I've learned is "be true to yourself."

I have found this to be quite easy to do in some areas of life and hard to do in other parts.

I'm one of the few women in America that hates the Twilight series. It is easy for me to say, "No, I don't want to see the movie," or "No, I'm not reading the final book" (or any sequels or prequels.) It's easy to stay true to myself. I don't have to like what other people like. If I don't like the fad, I don't have to follow it. I remain happy.

What is hard is when it is related to church social functions. I've become quite anti-social in the last two years. I really don't like being in a crowd of people, especially women. Every time you get a group of women together, the topic always turn to weight and loosing weight. I'm heavier than most of the women I know, so when they talk about loosing weight, I feel terrible. If they feel the way they do and they aren't nearly as heavy as me, I can't imagine what they must think about me. I know I'm a horrid blob. I don't need to be reminded when I'm already self conscious in a room of people who are skinnier than me. Why should I go? There is no reason. I feel worse for having gone than I would have had I skipped the entire thing. But then, I feel guilty for not going to a church social function. I'm not true to myself and I'm not happy.

If I'm true to myself in such times, I would never attend, but that makes me a bad person too. So, I'm working hard to realize that being true to myself means that I don't have to like social functions because others like social functions. I need to be true to Molly.

What does make me happy? Good music (I've always got music going), old movies, working on projects, creating things, a green forest, peace and quiet. Hmmm, I'm feeling happier just thinking about those things.

1 comment:

Kleanteeth said...

I have a lot of similar thoughts about church functions. I want to go and I don't. I find myself having to talk myself into it and sometimes it turns out fun and others it doesn't. It's not that they talk about being fat or skinny, it's just other crap that doesn't occupy my mind. You have to find the people at church who you can be you with, this I've learned. And usually I find myself getting along with the husbands better than the women and I've decided that's ok. Don't change, but this doesn't mean be a hermit, just find your group.